When Binary meets Paperella

I always dreamt of a BNW (Brave New World) where online and offline came together and lived happily ever after... Reality painted a different picture offlate.... Online and Nonline hate each other. They communicate differently and seem to be on completely different levels full stop. If online says, let's plan, design and choose the right format, offline says: I want a leaflet now~! Flyers!!! Flyers!? The horror, the horror. It's the pinnacle of all trash lying around in the streets and now I need to make online versions....argh!
Online says, SM (acronym hell) needs cooperation, collaboration, interaction and engagement. Offline says  me needs it NOW. Planning not interesting. Is just matter of typing. Bleep bleep. You are incompetent. All of you are. You cannot type. Bleep. Need to send message NOW. Send send, fuck receive! Or else! Online says. It does not work that way, it's just that....SHUT UP or else!! Need now, yesterday. You incompetent, everyone is..but me...noise, noise, rackett, rackett, holler, holler, rant, rant...TANTRUM!

offline storming in: DIE, DIE already. Must have SM now. Need~! or else...the posters will lead to nothing, nothing~! Frenzy frenzy.... Online response with a mere...it doesn't work that way. Offline throws tantrum: NEED, MUST, HAVE, YOU STUPID...... Online walks away without looking back and lives happily ever after with his online buddies, sharing online thougths and gifts....

The web is ours!~ Paper sux...